Apparently something happened somewhere between my elementary school full of future doctors, firemen, and presidents and the twenty-somethings by which I find myself surrounded. It is worth mentioning that those future somethings from way back in 2nd grade are not the same people as the twenty-somethings in my life now. (Many of those classmates from so long ago never made it out of our small hometown and at least one of those future presidents decided to go to business school.)
When our generation was growing up, experts thought we would be spoiled and entitled, having been born and raised in the prosperous 80s and 90s by doting, indulgent former-hippie parents. And we were, until the economy went all to hell while we were graduating from high school or college in 2008-2009.
In the early 2000s and before, it was expected to have a job offer before college graduation and now people are surprised that I even have a full-time job in my field. What used to be the norm, now makes me one of the lucky ones.
The easy answer to the question ‘What happened between those elementary school dreams and unemployed or underemployed college grads?’ is: A lot. We had the world at our feet until reality became harsher in the mid-2000s (between war, recession, political dysfunction, terrorism, etc.). We had our expectations and goals ratcheted up in the good times, and just when our adult lives began, the world brought all those goals crashing down around us.
However, other research shows that our Generation Y/Millenials (the name depends on who you ask) still believe it is possible to have it all and achieve those dreams they had in college, if not in elementary school. We want to live in nice homes and do fun things and go exciting places and also work for social justice and feel good about our professional lives. Good for us, staying positive! *pat on the back*
But, let’s pause for a moment, and think about whether it’s a good idea to try to truly have it all. Trying to balance a super successful career, being a super parent/spouse/friend, volunteer in your local soup kitchen, and still go to the gym 4 times a week is kind of impossible. Personally, I think you can’t be perfect at everything. In order to excel in something, you almost always have to spend less time on something(one) else.
I guess that could just be me, but that’s all I know after all. Armed with the knowledge that I need to only focus on excelling at one or two things at a time, I have taken to really thinking about my life and what I want to be and do in the years ahead of me. I think I’ve nailed it down, at least for now, and I’m working on achieving the image of my future that I have in my head.
Really, it just comes down to priorities, and choosing the top ones that are really important for you and then being really super awesome at that. Maybe you’re not a CEO with eight kids who all become doctors. Maybe you’re a great leader and you become a great CEO. Maybe you love kids and you become a great parent to some great kids. ‘Having it all’ is a misleading phrase. We all want to be happy, and being happy doesn’t mean that you have to have aaallll of the things in the world. Figure out the things that you want, that are most important to your happiness, sanity, health, etc. and do that. (Also, see my last post about not listening to what ‘society’ or you mom thinks you should do with your life.) Ok? Good. Do it. Now. I believe in you!